Remember the part that have been stopped from?
Antherina was going to make a decision,the mystery girl was going to fight with Antherina,the princess of Terandiphia,suddenly she found out that her brother wasn't on her side,he was standing with the mystery girl,and they both just stared at Antherina, so she was trying to figure out what she should do. Finally, she got her own answer, she stood back and try not to start this fight, because she still owned a beautiful heart, she knew that her brother would still hurt her, even she just stood back, but in the deep of her heart, she doesn't really want to hurt her brother.
She wanted to do everything for not hurting his brother, she still remembered that her brother treated her like a little doll, always care about her, never let her cry, but she still couldn't understand that why he would be like this, he was not the boy that she knew before, she started to cry..
The fight started, a mystery girl took out her long sword and attacked her, she put the sword into Antherina's body and then pushed it into the deepest of her stomach, her brother came out and stood on her hand, told her that, the last word that she said would be his name....
Vivi:
ReplyDeleteI like your climax a lot. It fulls a lot of images in your story so I can easily imagine the actions in your story! And this is definitely a interesting climax! I like it very much!
Daniel
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVivi:
ReplyDeleteWow it look like your story is a sad story, the brother betray his sister, the other girl kill the other girl, climax, which means the most excitement point in the story, you express the thing happen in your story in the sad way, but you also change it to a nice climax.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVivi:
ReplyDeleteIt’s the part made me very nervose and bleed. The dark girls is really bad, but Antherina’s brother is the one that most grimly. How cloud he attacked his sister and stood on her head. Antherina is such a lovely girl with beautiful heart.
- Peggy Hsieh
Vivi:
ReplyDeleteWow it look like your story is a sad story, the brother betray his sister, the other girl kill the other girl, climax, which means the most excitement point in the story, you express the thing happen in your story in the sad way, but you also change it to a nice climax.
Isaac Yu
Vivi:
ReplyDeleteWow i didn't read your story before, but when i finished your climax i really want to read the all thing, in your climax there came out a mystery girl that really make the story very interesting, i hope the end will be interesting too.
Peter Lai
Vivi:
ReplyDeleteYour story has a really exiting climax, this point increase the quality of your story a lot! I really like your climax! It makes me want to know the things happen next so much! Nice job!
Daniel Tsao